"And in 1962 a little boy was born and his dream and his goal was to own a monkey. This is my dream"

Amidst the theme from "Star Wars" and other heart stirring music, Tim "wild thang" Lepard offers inspirational words before a minor league baseball game. I must admit that at first glance this viral video is funny. The sheer disconnect that your brain has listening to this bit of personally wrought oratory while watching this strange spectacle does have a dark streak of humor in it but then the humor starts to dissipate and you are only left with the dark. Many thoughts ricocheted in my head as I watched this video. Besides the obvious fact that all guys do want to have a monkey, (yes that son of a "B" Dane Cook is right) it is clear that these are not dog riding cowboy monkeys. If I could see the cowboy shirt / chaps wearing monkey mosey on over, leap onto the saddle of that dog, grab the reins, yell "Hiyah" and gallop around that field, now THAT would be a dog riding monkey. On the contrary, I see a monkey strapped to a dog and holding on for dear life. True, I don't know if the monkey is enjoying this. As with any pet, a remarkable bond can be developed with their human owner and maybe the little primates do want to please Tim "wild thang" Lepard for whatever reason whether it be for food or Pavlovian love. One can definitely argue that it beats being used in medical experimentation. The strapping down the monkey bothers me. Using monkeys to make a fast buck bothers me. The fact that thousands of moms and dads gleefully sit their kids on their laps to enjoy this kind of spectacle bothers and annoys me.

This viral video made me search for more monkey videos only to find little monkeys riding motorcycles as well. Yes, you read right. Check out the video of the little monkey scooting up and down some busy highway (I think in India). At first glance it looks like the little guy has been trained to actually ride a little motorcycle on his own. Look closely and you will see that he is being yanked by his neck hard enough to literally zip down the street. Apparently, the monkey has to endure being yanked hundreds of times a day so that his owner can garner tips from passersby.

I no longer want to own a monkey. That childhood dream has quickly evaporated. I just want all monkeys to run as far away from us human beings as is possible. Hide away you little monkeys.

- Adler Bloom