Opinion: The View, Keanu and the Yenta-fication of America

The Yenta-fication of America

As a music writer I generally don’t get into the pop culture fray but, for some reason, the recent comments on The View (as reported in the Huffington Post) about Keanu Reeves (55) dating his long time friend and partner in art, business and philanthropy, artist Alexandra Grant (46) has gotten to me, not only because I hate the “yenta-fication” of America but because some of the comments were steeped in ageism and antiquated gender norms.

As an aside, The View seems like the perfect name for this show because Mrs. Kravitz (the neighborhood busybody from the iconic 60’s / 70’s TV Sitcom “Bewitched”) always craned her neck for the perfect view of other people’s business.

Maybe the most annoying Mrs. Kravitz on The View is Joy Behar who expounded on the notion being spread around that Keanu is an Internet hero for dating within his “age range” (whatever that is supposed to be) because in Hollywood terms the supposed norm is celebrity men dating or marrying much younger women. Behar cited:

“Dennis Quaid, 65. Engaged to a 26-year-old. Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta-Jones ― 25 years. Alec Baldwin, Hilaria Baldwin ― 26 year difference. Billy Joel’s ― 33 years. David Foster and Catherine McPhee ― 34 years, Bruce Willis and Emma — 24 years, George Clooney and Amal Clooney- 17 years”

What bothers me is how the discussion is framed. Most of the verbiage involves saying that the man chose, chooses a younger woman as if the dating or marriage equation is a one way street. Couching this discussion is so totally misogynistic and antiquated. In fact, Behar (while reading off notes) didn’t even have the decency to mention all the women’s names fully as if they didn’t matter as much. Let’s be clear, those women chose the men as much as the men chose the women.

But in the end, this discussion really doesn’t care about the depth of those involved anyway, it is simply an ageist argument. There is no mention of love at all. While Behar flippantly reads her notes about Dennis Quaid (for example) I kept wondering if she would ever suggest to the acclaimed actor (in person) that he doesn’t love Laura Savoie (that is her name Joy!) who he is about to marry or that Savoie doesn’t really love Quaid. Connection and love seems to be beside the point.

In the final analysis when people meet I don’t think that each other’s age is at the forefront. That comes much later. I just attended a wedding and the groom was 15 years older than the bride. They seem perfect for each other and I am so thrilled for them starting this new chapter. Would I be saying the same thing if the age difference was 17, 18, 25 years? Yes, most definitely.

Shaming someone for marrying well outside of the norm age wise or lauding others who marry someone close to their age would be no different than applauding two people marring outside their race or within their race. The latter would make you a racist and the former an ageist.

And in the end, who cares and whose business is it of ours. The Yenta-fication of America is stifling (and I mean Yenta as a term for women and men who are busybodies).

Peace out and back to my article on an amazing L.A. artist, songwriter Andrew Deadman.

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Robb Donker