TaughtMe and the through the looking glass atmosphere of "When I Calm Down"

 

"When I calm down
 / A feather falls through my chest
 / The veil is opening / When I calm down / Great mothers purr into the earth into the earth into me..."


Sometimes songs not only move you but shape you. Listening to "When I Calm Down" for the first time by TaughtMe, the project name of Utah artist, singer songwriter, multi-instrumentalist (and quite possibly, exorcist) Blake Aaron Henderson, I felt like myself at 7 years old watching The Wizard of Oz on a color cathode ray TV. That movie, at that age, was exquisitely weird. As I sat on the floor awestruck, I could feel it's surreality seeping into my being. It cast wonder over me and it scared me senseless more than once, burning disturbing imagery in my brain that I still have among the clutter to this day. I also felt that sense of wonder, of dread, of exquisite artistry when listening to TaughtMe.  

"When I Calm Down" is not easy to describe and a lot of it's power, persuasion and universe building hinges not only on the imaginative soundscape but mostly on Henderson's vocal countenance, unique in it's character, his ability to reveal such vulnerability and powerful survivorship of things revealed and not, things couched in extremely personal tells as beautiful poetry.

"I shook my pain


Over the ancestral well

Nobody came
No echo down the family line

No answer from inside
I cuss and shake

Hungry as I was


Don’t make me wait"

Like a pastiche of memories cut out of an array of magazines, the imagery you feel is full of safe spaces and monsters. If "When I Calm Down" was a movie instead of a song it would surely be written and directed by an Ari Aster or Charlie Kaufman. At the core, emblazoned in the hollow body guitar strum and painful wails of sound, the seeds of the song come from childhood trauma explored on the upcoming album “Laugh On Me” that drops October 6th, (2023). The album was "Built in Oakland, Iceland and Finland - Words and Music by Blake Aaron Henderson"   

Here are some revealing Liner Notes about the album from Blake Aaron Henderson:

Preface.

As a little Mormon kid I thought my sins were uniquely bad. So ugly they had to be hid. I thought I was the only one. After growing out I learned that every one of us was secretly bearing that burden, each convinced they were the one baddie in a chapel of goodies. We weren’t! We were innocent bodies. They had us walking and talking in lines when we could have been singing the mystery. But we shatter the picture. We come out beautifully, coloring off the page. Even so I wake afraid, terrified that I’m blowing it. I worry that I’m gripping near the edge of life while the treasure spins onward, that I’m sitting out the dance. I don’t wanna be scared or stiff. I don’t wanna be numb. I wanna go big and bright despite the danger. I think I’m ready to try. I just need time to open up. Time with my beautiful friends. Under their love I brighten and pretty, I am better. Let’s stay together. Stay tender though it’s hard. Let’s stay awake during the one precious dream.

Thanks.

Tenderness toward Úlfur Hansson. This album exists because he lured me to Iceland in 2022. He nourished these songs while also sharing his home. Úlfur’s creative impulses are magnetic. The spirit moves through him in special ways. I’ll never forget how he subverted “In The Body”, solving a puzzle that had eluded me for 10 years. An alchemist!

These tunes, they sound like this because of Samuli Kosminen. He’s not a “drummer”. He’s an audio sculptor, an animator. He translated my imagination into sound, taking prompts like “make it feel slow-motion but aggressive, like 2 giants fighting each other sluggishly.” The collaboration left me giddy and inspired and I’ll be forever grateful for his diligence and profound musical gifts. What powers!

Specifically about "When I Calm Down" Henderson shares: 

"Many prayers go unanswered, many hungers unsated. My brother told me that a friend of his regularly calls on ancestors for strength and guidance, that such spiritual aid was normal in their family tradition. At the time my brother was hurting badly and actively seeking support. But when he called down our family line no answer came and the silence stung.

It’s a beautiful thought, to be woven to loving allies up and down the family line. But what if that connection is frayed or broken? And can certain families lose reception?

It felt natural to use Mormon imagery because I was steeped in it. I was taught that families are forever and that our relatives, whether passed away or still unborn, care for us and watch from just beyond “the veil”.

'When I Calm Down' is a song about spiritual asphyxiation. It begins with scenes of tranquility and safety then suddenly pivots into gusts of desperation. Eventually, after a lengthy struggle, it ends with relief."

I am gobsmacked by Blake Aaron Henderson's unique vocal / musical style and look forward to dipping into more of his music. 

-Robb Donker Curtius

THE FACTS AS WE KNOW THEM 

https://soundcloud.com/taughtme

https://www.facebook.com/TaughtMeMusic/

https://open.spotify.com/artist/39JyFaAnG9SrSyL4K8htm8

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_fXrbVfRwLxX32a0wjyUzw

https://taughtme.bandcamp.com/album/laugh-on-me

https://www.instagram.com/blakeaaronhenderson/




TaughtMe


Prayers from Utah native Blake Aaron Henderson // felt //

I've been making as TaughtMe for almost 20 years (!!). I've toured the U.S. and Europe, released 4 full length albums and my 5th—“Laugh on Me”—comes October 6th. I think of my songs as psychological monuments or personal monologues shouted. I do hope you find something worthy in there. thanks thanks. -Blake

TaughtMe, indie rock, alt pop, experimental pop, alt pop, dream pop, cathartic, revealing, "When I Calm Down", upcoming album “Laugh On Me”, drops on October 6th, singer songwriter Blake Aaron Henderson,