"he showed you what a song could do..."
"Chris–– The last time I saw you perform, you told stories of being a shy 12-year-old kid, hiding up in your room listening to the Beatles. You said nothing was so transporting & reassuring as that music. I knew what you meant, because I would do that to––only for me it was your songs. As a shy, moody kid who at 13 had already contemplated suicide & struggled with depression, hearing your words made me feel like there was somebody out there who understood. Sitting on the oatmeal carpet of my childhood bedroom, hearing your voice bounce off those 4 walls, I could be assured that somebody knew the way I felt. And I wasn't alone.
I was 23 when the news broke of your death. When they said it was suicide, I knew there was some mistake––how would that be possible? It was unthinkable, given the role you had played in my life––walking me away from that cliff. And yet, it was true.
When you were 26, your friend & bandmate died of an overdose, and you wrote a song called "Say Hello 2 Heaven." I used to play it over & over, screaming along with your mournful wails––some of the words I wasn't old enough to understand, some of them I was just young enough to. "And he hurt so bad like a soul breaking / but he never said nothing to me". The words stab at us now. Was that about your friend? Or was it about you?
Certain pains never go away, and certain hurts never heal completely. The task of helping each other through the fog is never finished. And so, we light the way with small comforts such as the fact that your gift to me didn't end with your songs. It became my whole life––making music, trying to give voice to those deepest feelings. In hopes that maybe someday, somewhere out there, I could do for someone what you did for me. Most days I'm not sure that I ever could. But what I do know is––because of you––I'll spend my whole life trying.
Ben."
https://childhaven.org/
THE FACTS AS WE KNOW THEM - PRESS NOTES:
spotify
soundcloud
Ben Zaidi's music combines the lyrical solemnity of spoken-word poetry with minimal electronica. Written and produced by Ben in his Seattle bedroom, his songs reveal a sincere intimacy reminiscent of a private journal. Zaidi grew up surrounded by the natural serenity of the Pacific Northwest, before traveling east to study poetry at Harvard. He recently broke the airwaves on Seattle's iconic radio station KEXP 90.3, and has been performing at historical venues throughout the city including The Crocodile and Barboza. He now resides primarily in Brooklyn, New York.
No comments:
Post a Comment