消えそうなライト闇に向けて / 乱して / 君のことを呼んだ..."
I started American Pancake in 2009 and maybe a few years later, it struck me that songs are sonic Rorschach tests, aural splatters of black ink cast on the wall for each listener to interpret, to feel in different ways base on their own life's journey, their own specific uniqueness. Listening to the artful alt rock punches, the inherent melancholia, the foreign tongue (to me) of "Killifish" by Japanese three piece indie rock / fusion rock outfit Tsuitachi and I realize this might be the ultimate kind of Rorschach test, where not only are the sonics interpreted but the lyrical content too.
From the get go, the sense of 90's indie rock is apparent but other things are happening too. Progressive guitar maneuvers feeling more post hardcore, super active trip hop drumming, mournful vocals that feel saturated in the kind of melancholia of emo, sadcore.
Upon repeated listening, the post grunge structures combined with the beautiful sadness had me seeing a magical story about an old man whose raucous selfish ways have left him estranged from his three adult children. He lives a ramshackled existence outside of San Diego proper and when he is not absolutely wasted, from guzzling down too many Trader Joe's Texas Vodka's, he hangs over the railing of Imperial Beach Pier trying to catch his dinner.
One night an old large rougheye rockfish comes to the surface and stare at the old man taunting him. "You're pathetic" the fish says, "your mean spirit has left you hollow and broken. You allowed the cancer in your wife that took her, move into you and turn your heart dark black and poisonous like rotting fruit." The old man's eyes grew large but not enough to believe that what he was seeing and hearing was nothing more than the vodka spiking hallucinations in his bloodstream. The rockfish splashed and grunted, "Your spat bitter hate on your children so much that they are in danger of becoming you! Come join me because you have nothing to live for."
The old man cursed at the rockfish, "I will kill you and eat you! You are nothing to me. I am nothing." He scrambled into his old bucket and pulled out a 7 inch fish knife, pointing it at the rockfish, "I will fucking kill you and eat you!" Slashing in the air, leaning over the railing, he felt something lifting his legs and he tumbled over, arms flailing falling off the pier and into the dark water. The sharp cold of the water almost sobered up the old man and he could see no rockfish but only darkness. Not only could he only see darkness, it is all he could feel. He began sinking. The old man wanted to embrace that darkness, to swallow it, to become it forever. He wanted to die, to forget about all the love that he lost and did not give to his children.
He opened his mouth but felt strange, he started to gag but then the water flowing inside felt normal. He could not feel his arms or legs. He felt tangled up in his clothes until he didn't. He swam to the surface and could see a small crowd looking down at him from the pier. One man was yelling to the others, "I can't see him anywhere. All I can see is that rockfish! The old man is gone!"
The old man wanted to die but turned into a rougheye rockfish. He would live for 97 more years thinking about his children, about what he has wrought, wanting to die but unable to drown.
This is the fable I thought of this morning while listening to "Killifish" and the lyric I felt while feeling a specific vocal melody in the song.
"I'm so sorry what I have done
the pain swims in my head
I let
the hate inside
shimmering skin is my fate
to remember
forever
what I have become"
I hope you feel your own story while listening to "Killifish" by the very artful, passionate Tsuitachi.
-Robb Donker Curtius
THE FACTS AS WE KNOW THEM
https://open.spotify.com/artist/6kpH3t1YCYdNDOTo1l3cJk
We are a Japanese band called "Tsuitachi".
Tsuitachi, 3 piece alt rock, alt rock, post grunge, post hardcore, rock fusion, progressive, 90's American rock styles, "Killifish", indie rock, jammy
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