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photo by jonny esser "fever dreams are killing me / take me down to Old Mill Creek / rest my bones and let it be, you know / overrun and over it / never knowing when to quit / always said I'd have grit, I don't..."
The cut and cauterized alt country rock catharsis of "Oak Tree" by Americana singer-songwriter J. Killen, and from his "stark and somber" sophomore solo album "Depression Dollars", is packed full of atmospheres that feel like pure, refined storytelling. I am loving how the lyrics start on the first downbeat of a strummed electric guitar, I am loving the orchestrations of bending pedal steel guitar, the droning churchy organ sounds, the punchy yet somehow stoic drum beat and boomy bass hand in hand, all as a framework for Killen's vocal drawl that feels at once comfortable, brazen, strong and a little bit melancholy too. Somehow "Oak Tree", after all is said and done, while maybe full of reticent sadness feels happy in the end, a sing-a-long with drink in hand (hard or non-alcoholic) with hard lessons learned.
LINER NOTES (excerpted / bracketed):
[Depression Dollars is a focused record with a very intentional sonic palette of either acoustic or electric guitar, bass, drums, pedal steel, keys, and fiddle. It was thoughtfully orchestrated to be performed live. The album was recorded during a gloomy Portland, Oregon winter at Red Rockets Glare studios, and it was produced by Raymond Richards and Luke Messimer. There is sort of a comfort in the bleakness on the album, conjuring the bittersweet intimacy of records such as Son Volt’s Trace, Ryan Adams & the Cardinals’ Cold Roses, and Wilco’s Being There.
“During the recording, I was staying in a basement apartment. The skies were grey, it was so wet and cold, and I had no TV in my little place. The batch of songs we were recording were filled with mood. Raymond and Luke were quieter and it felt darker,” J. Killen recalls.]
[The spacious country ballad single, Oak Tree, feels like it captured an epiphanic moment. J. Killen’s vocals here conjure bloodshot eyes and an unslept but wired mood made all the more impactful by the big, lumbering drums and the roominess of the production. The song was written while processing the grief of losing his grandmother and a friend. These losses made J. Killen consider his own mortality. “I feel like if anything happens to me, I’d want my loved ones to not carry guilt or be burdened with grief. I wrote ‘Oak Tree’ as a way of putting away the idea that death has to be painful for those we leave behind,” he says. This is one of the most direct songs on the album. One standout passage is: Close my eyes for the last time/Push on to the other side/Now I know my time has come/Bury me by the oak tree/I can rest finally/I don’t need anything anymore/I’ve become someone you can let go/I’ve become someone you can let go.]
J. Killen's back story is the stuff of heartbreak but full of resolve and second chances (see his full bio down below). I look forward to delving into the details of "Depression Dollars".
-Robb Donker Curtius
LYRICS
fever dreams are killing me
The Chicken Wheel will take you to the AP Go Fund Me- and any amount is so appreciated!
https://www.instagram.com/jkillenofficial/
https://www.tiktok.com/@J.Killen
https://www.facebook.com/jarrettkillen/
Americana singer-songwriter J. Killen drank and drugged himself out of a promising music career, alienating many musicians along the way. He then relocated to Austin, Texas from LA which was just like adding gasoline to a fire. J. Killen’s narrative seemed to point to one of two outcomes: death or oblivion.
Thankfully, his life did not veer down either of these broken dream avenues. Today, a clear-headed J. Killen is touring, working with old friends, and releasing solo music at a furious pace. His latest, the stark and somber sophomore solo album, Depression Dollars, will be his second record to be released in less than a year.
“I have this idea of legacy. I don’t have a wife or kids, so I want to put out as many records as I can before I leave this world,” J. Killen explains. He continues: “This is a record of love, loss, and depression. I came to a point where I needed music to process some emotions. It’s not the most fun of topics, but there is hope woven in. I really cracked the door with how I feel on this one.”
J. Killen’s songwriting pulls from the classic country and the alt-country boom of the late 1990s/early 2000s, mixing traditional sounds such as teardrop pedal steel, folksy acoustic guitars, and a sparse rhythm section with personal lyrics set in modern times. Previously, he released the barnburner of a debut album, Goin’ It Alone.
The muddy waters of American music course through J. Killen’s veins. His dad played in a country band and he was raised on Hank Williams, Bob Wills, vintage Gretsch and Fender guitars. In this environment, J. Killen stumbled into the blues as a budding musician but soon found his way back to country.
He was a reckless kid, just like the outlaw characters in the songs he grew up listening to. J. Killen bounced from many local high schools before ending up in the city’s derelict youth institution. He was hardworking with music and held down jobs while gigging and touring in punk and indie bands. During long drives in the van, he would listen to Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, and Waylon Jennings. Then he discovered Ryan Adams, Whiskeytown, and Wilco. Hearing younger guys do Americana inspired him to convert his inner circle of musician friends into country players and start his own alt-country bands.
However, J. Killen alienated his country musician recruits through his off-the-rails lifestyle. Then he moved to Austin, Texas and descended even further, despite still somehow touring and recording. One positive thing from that time is that J. Killen found something of a spiritual connection with the state, and you can hear the heritage of Texas on both of his solo records.
Eventually, J. Killen got his life together, and, disillusioned from always being broke as a musician, landed a job in construction. For years his quiet existence consisted of swinging a hammer and living in a friend’s garage with his beloved Labrador, Sunny. However, when the pain of heartbreak and loss got a little too unbearable, out came the guitar and a deluge of new music. His latest, Depression Dollars, is a direct reflection of this painfully complex time.
Depression Dollars is a focused record with a very intentional sonic palette of either acoustic or electric guitar, bass, drums, pedal steel, keys, and fiddle. It was thoughtfully orchestrated to be performed live. The album was recorded during a gloomy Portland, Oregon winter at Red Rockets Glare studios, and it was produced by Raymond Richards and Luke Messimer. There is sort of a comfort in the bleakness on the album, conjuring the bittersweet intimacy of records such as Son Volt’s Trace, Ryan Adams & the Cardinals’ Cold Roses, and Wilco’s Being There.
“During the recording, I was staying in a basement apartment. The skies were grey, it was so wet and cold, and I had no TV in my little place. The batch of songs we were recording were filled with mood. Raymond and Luke were quieter and it felt darker,” J. Killen recalls.
The spacious country ballad single, Oak Tree, feels like it captured an epiphanic moment. J. Killen’s vocals here conjure bloodshot eyes and an unslept but wired mood made all the more impactful by the big, lumbering drums and the roominess of the production. The song was written while processing the grief of losing his grandmother and a friend. These losses made J. Killen consider his own mortality. “I feel like if anything happens to me, I’d want my loved ones to not carry guilt or be burdened with grief. I wrote ‘Oak Tree’ as a way of putting away the idea that death has to be painful for those we leave behind,” he says. This is one of the most direct songs on the album. One standout passage is: Close my eyes for the last time/Push on to the other side/Now I know my time has come/Bury me by the oak tree/I can rest finally/I don’t need anything anymore/I’ve become someone you can let go/I’ve become someone you can let go.
J. Killen, singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, indie rock, alt country, folk rock, storyteller rock, Los Angeles, Austin Texas, Americana, cow punk, "Depression Dollars" sophomore album, "Oak Tree" (Official Video),
fever dreams are killing me
take me down to Old Mill Creek
rest my bones and let it be, you know
overrun and over it
never knowing when to quit
always said I'd have grit, I don't
I've become someone you should let go
heavy moons overhead
never thought that I'd get here
pray to god that I don't set my home
waking up half asleep
I remember everything
how can I find some peace I want
I've become someone you should let go
let me down easy
I'm not ready but heaven don't wait on you
please don't show your tears
I aint ready to choose, either
watch me sink down below, I know
I've become someone you should let go
close my eyes for the last time
push onto the other side
now I know that my time has come
bury me by the orchard
I can rest finally
I don't need anything anymore
I've become someone you can let go
I've become someone you can let go
let me down easy
I'm not ready but heaven don't wait on you
please don't show your tears
I aint ready to choose, either
watch me sink down below, I know
I've become someone you should let go
The Chicken Wheel will take you to the AP Go Fund Me- and any amount is so appreciated!
THE FACTS AS WE KNOW THEM
https://www.instagram.com/jkillenofficial/
https://www.tiktok.com/@J.Killen
https://www.facebook.com/jarrettkillen/
Americana singer-songwriter J. Killen drank and drugged himself out of a promising music career, alienating many musicians along the way. He then relocated to Austin, Texas from LA which was just like adding gasoline to a fire. J. Killen’s narrative seemed to point to one of two outcomes: death or oblivion.
Thankfully, his life did not veer down either of these broken dream avenues. Today, a clear-headed J. Killen is touring, working with old friends, and releasing solo music at a furious pace. His latest, the stark and somber sophomore solo album, Depression Dollars, will be his second record to be released in less than a year.
“I have this idea of legacy. I don’t have a wife or kids, so I want to put out as many records as I can before I leave this world,” J. Killen explains. He continues: “This is a record of love, loss, and depression. I came to a point where I needed music to process some emotions. It’s not the most fun of topics, but there is hope woven in. I really cracked the door with how I feel on this one.”
J. Killen’s songwriting pulls from the classic country and the alt-country boom of the late 1990s/early 2000s, mixing traditional sounds such as teardrop pedal steel, folksy acoustic guitars, and a sparse rhythm section with personal lyrics set in modern times. Previously, he released the barnburner of a debut album, Goin’ It Alone.
The muddy waters of American music course through J. Killen’s veins. His dad played in a country band and he was raised on Hank Williams, Bob Wills, vintage Gretsch and Fender guitars. In this environment, J. Killen stumbled into the blues as a budding musician but soon found his way back to country.
He was a reckless kid, just like the outlaw characters in the songs he grew up listening to. J. Killen bounced from many local high schools before ending up in the city’s derelict youth institution. He was hardworking with music and held down jobs while gigging and touring in punk and indie bands. During long drives in the van, he would listen to Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, and Waylon Jennings. Then he discovered Ryan Adams, Whiskeytown, and Wilco. Hearing younger guys do Americana inspired him to convert his inner circle of musician friends into country players and start his own alt-country bands.
However, J. Killen alienated his country musician recruits through his off-the-rails lifestyle. Then he moved to Austin, Texas and descended even further, despite still somehow touring and recording. One positive thing from that time is that J. Killen found something of a spiritual connection with the state, and you can hear the heritage of Texas on both of his solo records.
Eventually, J. Killen got his life together, and, disillusioned from always being broke as a musician, landed a job in construction. For years his quiet existence consisted of swinging a hammer and living in a friend’s garage with his beloved Labrador, Sunny. However, when the pain of heartbreak and loss got a little too unbearable, out came the guitar and a deluge of new music. His latest, Depression Dollars, is a direct reflection of this painfully complex time.
Depression Dollars is a focused record with a very intentional sonic palette of either acoustic or electric guitar, bass, drums, pedal steel, keys, and fiddle. It was thoughtfully orchestrated to be performed live. The album was recorded during a gloomy Portland, Oregon winter at Red Rockets Glare studios, and it was produced by Raymond Richards and Luke Messimer. There is sort of a comfort in the bleakness on the album, conjuring the bittersweet intimacy of records such as Son Volt’s Trace, Ryan Adams & the Cardinals’ Cold Roses, and Wilco’s Being There.
“During the recording, I was staying in a basement apartment. The skies were grey, it was so wet and cold, and I had no TV in my little place. The batch of songs we were recording were filled with mood. Raymond and Luke were quieter and it felt darker,” J. Killen recalls.
The spacious country ballad single, Oak Tree, feels like it captured an epiphanic moment. J. Killen’s vocals here conjure bloodshot eyes and an unslept but wired mood made all the more impactful by the big, lumbering drums and the roominess of the production. The song was written while processing the grief of losing his grandmother and a friend. These losses made J. Killen consider his own mortality. “I feel like if anything happens to me, I’d want my loved ones to not carry guilt or be burdened with grief. I wrote ‘Oak Tree’ as a way of putting away the idea that death has to be painful for those we leave behind,” he says. This is one of the most direct songs on the album. One standout passage is: Close my eyes for the last time/Push on to the other side/Now I know my time has come/Bury me by the oak tree/I can rest finally/I don’t need anything anymore/I’ve become someone you can let go/I’ve become someone you can let go.
J. Killen, singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, indie rock, alt country, folk rock, storyteller rock, Los Angeles, Austin Texas, Americana, cow punk, "Depression Dollars" sophomore album, "Oak Tree" (Official Video),
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